Stanford–Berkeley Professors' Spouses' University

where every two-body problem has an elliptical solution

Stanford–Berkeley Professors' Spouses' University, located on the lovely Treasure Island amid the slightly magnificent San Francisco–Oakland Bay Bridge, offers a nifty education at a budget price. At SBPSU, you'll be taught and advised by the husbands and wives of some of the world's most brilliant researchers.

Our faculty are famed worldwide for their supportiveness, humility, and willingness to subordinate their career success to your betterment. SBPSU's unique location between two of the world's greatest educational institutions, Stanford University and the University of California at Berkeley, means you'll never be more than an hour's commute from the vital intellectual atmosphere the Bay Area is famous for.

Whether you obtain a full two-year Degree in Infant Education, a Remedial Diploma in Knowledge of Knowledge, or just a Certificate in Athletic Preparedness, you'll rest soundly knowing not only have you received the best education available anywhere to students of modest talent, but you've helped to forge the arts, humanities, and sciences in this nation's two greatest universities to a razor sheen by giving their new hires' spouses a place to go.

Spamford Berkins
Dean, School of Information Repetition
Stanford–Berkeley Professors' Spouses' University

Thanks to Raimund Seidel for suggesting SBPSU.